Who’s changing?

Um… Hi. How’s it going? Good? Cool. Yeah, I know it’s been a while since I last posted. Yes, I know you’ve all forgotten about my existence. No, I don’t blame you. I am rubbish!

So, now we’ve got that out the way…

It’s been a pretty weird month. Baby’s first Christmas, followed by the first New Year’s Eve in about 6 years where I haven’t gone out and painted the town with alcohol! Oh yeah, then there was the completion of a 3,000 word essay, for my MA, focussing on the surge in female writers currently venturing into the – very male – realm of Dystopian Fiction. I thought this would be easy. I, quite proudly, have a massive obsession with the Dystopia (Heterotopias and Utopias not so much, but I’ll tell you about that some other time. Or not. Depends how unlucky you are) so I was rather looking forward to writing such an in depth and interesting academic paper (!). Safe to say, I now never want to read another Dystopian novel again or see a film adaptation. I mean, seriously, if I never see The Hunger Games again, I’ll be a happy girly. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a pretty good film (I saw it when I was about 10 weeks pregnant and as soon as the title appeared I – inexplicably – cried from start to finish. I’m so cool), but once you’ve spent 3,000 words analysing it’s relation to The War on Terror and contribution to the possibility of a Third Wave of Feminism… Well, you see where I’m going with this, right?

Anyway, my days are generally filled with sterilising bottles, changing nappies and arguing with my male friends about whether single Mum’s do nothing all day (I know, right?). Every time I sit down to do something other than baby stuff, like write this blog, actually, or make a coffee, baby’s bottom conveniently explodes – complete with watering eyes, a period of full-body tensing and groans of effort – and, after I’ve (very nearly) wet myself laughing, the cycle begins again… And next thing I know it’s 2013! Where is the time going?

At the moment, Facebook is my main means of communication with the outside world (I simultaneously loath it with an undying passion, wishing it would go and die slowly in a corner somewhere, and enjoy the fact that I know what’s going on in my peers’ lives without having to talk to them) and I quite like it that way. But every so often, as you know, Facebook throws up something that makes my blood boil (I say ‘every so often’ when I actually mean ‘everyday’). It went as follows…:

One of my (many) pregnant friends had commented on some request for information on an obscure and unnecessary Mother & Baby group that I found intriguing – because I’m a nosey cow – and I spent the next few minutes scrolling through incoherent and strange questions from teenage Mothers who, clearly, should’ve spent a bit more time in English class (bad English, when it’s a first language, pisses me off) and a bit less time… Well, no, I shouldn’t really finish that sentence because, you know, I have a baby and all. So, after those few minutes I found a rather fascinating post from an attached woman, congratulating her partner on being an ‘active Dad’. This, I don’t have a problem with – I think it’s great that he works long hours and looks after his family (financially and emotionally) – what I did have a problem with was the fact that, in amongst this congratulatory musing, she mentioned the phrase “unfortunate enough to be single Mums”. Hmm. “unfortunate“?? Really? Well, me being me, I couldn’t let that lie….!

Please, let me know how you feel about single Mums/if you are a single Mum, like me, and whether you feel more ‘fortunate’ to have a partner if/when you do! Personally, I prefer the idea of being a single Mum to the idea of being in a relationship. Not just because romantic entanglement with the opposite sex generally gets messy and painful; not only because involving a man in my family life would piss me off (different parenting skills and all that) but also because, doing it on my own means I only have myself to rely on – of course, I couldn’t do any of this without my wonderful Mother, but she doesn’t count in this consideration. I’m talking about romantic love & relationships – which suits me perfectly!

I was raised to be independent. When relationships go well, the man always moves into my house. When relationships go well, my money is mine and his… I don’t really care about. When relationships go well, I freak out and end them (haha. Am I joking? You’re not sure. I’ll keep it that way). So, it makes sense that parenthood is something I enjoy independently. and I do enjoy it. My Mum’s a single parent and it amazes me how strong she is. I want my daughter to feel the same of me. I don’t need a man to be a good Mum.

To round off, then, the reason why I haven’t posted in a while is because I’ve become a dried up, tee-total, third-wave-feminist, nappy changing machine who’s also just decided to become a lesbian.

I’m so cool.

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